~ “between a boy and a hard place” Lyrics ~
Page Jumps:
settling for diamonds
By some serendipity I found you
By some tranquility I love you
By some astronomy you orbit
By some love car you floored it
By some ephemerality you found me
By some convolution you found peace
Every time you talk to me you say that I'm perfect
You say what you wanna do to me is protect
I wanna take you to see your favorite color of horizons
You said the only thing you're settling for is diamonds
Every time you talk to me you say that I'm perfect
You say what you wanna do to me is protect
I wanna take you to see your favorite color of horizons
You said the only thing you're settling for is diamonds
The only thing you're settling for is diamonds, diamonds
The only thing you're settling for is diamonds, diamonds
come find me
You swore that you love me
So prove it dear and find me
I'm locked underground with no key
But it's outside my cell where you can reach
I'm crying on the floor of my room again
I can't believe it's been five weeks since then
The last time I saw you was so far back
If it's much longer I'll have a heart attack
I feel like you're not trying as hard as me
To see one another can't you just see?
I'll wait in this dungeon and when you're ready
For once take the lead, and come find me
I know that I love you
More than you love me
I'm destroyed when you're gone
You only seem withdrawn
You ask me not to leave
But you've been away for ages
I'm just a dog left in a hot car
While the heat opens up old scars
I'm crying on the floor of my room again
I can't believe it's been five weeks since then
The last time I saw you was so far back
If it's much longer I'll have a heart attack
I feel like you're not trying as hard as me
To see one another can't you just see?
I'll wait in this dungeon and when you're ready
For once take the lead, and come find me
I'm starving for you
I don't want you to rue
How you don't have a clue
Despite what I say and do
I'm trapped and dying
These tears aren't lying
I once was flying
Right now I'm crying
I'm screaming at a padded wall
You can't hear me, not at all
Throwing the phone I wait for your call
But I feel like all that you do is stall
I try to be patient, I try to be kind
But that's only got me to lose my mind
I give you love, but you don't give me mine
Do you still love me? Please give me a sign
I'm crying on the floor of my room again
I can't believe it's been five weeks since then
I'll wait in this dungeon and when you're ready
For once take the lead, and come find me
portrait of us
I drew a portrait of us
Because in you I had trust
I gave it to you as a birthday present
Now looking at the portrait ain't so pleasant
The arm around my side
Now looks like a cell bar
I got stockholm and cried
Left me with tender scars
The portrait of us
The idea of love
The euphoric luck
The way you fucked up
The portrait of us
The sides of the lines, trying to kill time
Color in the eyes when the boy was mine
Never done something so sweet
For someone I never saw on my street
The arm around my side
Now looks like a cell bar
I got stockholm and cried
Left me with tender scars
The portrait of us
The idea of love
The euphoric luck
The way you fucked up
The portrait of us
I drew a portrait of us
Because in you I had trust
I gave it to you as a birthday present
Now looking at the portrait ain't so pleasant
a fucking tattoo
You always liked my hair in a ponytail
So I'll wear one as I hope it brings you back
I always thought you were a fairytale
But for what I need you have a lack
Your nose must miss your face
Cause I sure miss your trace
You won't text, call, or even be here
But you'll have a fuckin' thousand beers
You don't have time to be with me
You say it'll happen eventually
But you had the time to get a fucking tattoo
It's your damn game and you're gonna lose
I thought you were different
So I posted you and I
I still have your hoodie here
So I'll wear it as I cry
I let you sleep inside my bed
I let you sleep inside my head
You have infected my mind
I really thought you were kind
Your nose must miss your face
Cause I sure miss your trace
You won't text, call, or even be here
But you'll have a fuckin' thousand beers
You don't have time to be with me
You say it'll happen eventually
But you had the time to get a fucking tattoo
It's your damn game and you're gonna lose
I asked if you still love me
If you still want us to be
You said "why else would I still be here?"
I said"you aren't here!" hence my fear
I thought it would take a few years at least
For us to be torn apart
But it seems it only took a few months
For you to break my heart
Your nose must miss your face
Cause I sure miss your trace
You won't text, call, or even be here
But you'll have a fuckin' thousand beers
You don't have time to be with me
You say it'll happen eventually
But you had the time to get a fucking tattoo
It's your damn game and you're gonna lose
ghosted
The love letters you wrote
Look now like a joke
I tore them all up
Because your actions spoke
Imagining your face happy
When you'd open up your gift from me
What I got for your birthday
But now you'll never get to see
The way you looked at me
In the shower lovingly
I knew you loved me so
Now out the door you go
Said it's hard to lose your love
But I didn't feel I was enough
You ghosted me somehow
I'm going to haunt you now
I drew us together
Spent weeks on paper
A beautiful show how I felt for you
Then it fell like a feather
Your hand holding it
Became transparent
Became an inconnu
But I still love you
The way you looked at me
In the shower lovingly
I knew you loved me so
Now out the door you go
Said it's hard to lose your love
But I didn't feel I was enough
You ghosted me somehow
I'm going to haunt you now
You'll see my face in magazines
You'll hear my voice in movie screens
My songs will creep within your feed
Make you regret that vicious deed
When you smell perfume you'll think of me
You'll remember I still have your hoodie
You never got your gift from me
It's been sitting in my room for weeks
You've got my pride and dignity
You stole those two away from me
I can't stop loathing how you set me free
But the thought of me will be a disease
The way you looked at me
In the shower lovingly
I knew you loved me so
Now out the door you go
Said it's hard to lose your love
But I didn't feel I was enough
You ghosted me somehow
I'm going to haunt you now
your loss!
I been lonely
I am mostly
Over you already
I'm a little petty
But you weren't around for fifty days before you ghosted me
So I'll dance around to"Good Luck, Babe!" because I feel relieved
I'm not sad seeing pics
Just pissed I dated a dick
My friend told me I'm over it
You fumbled, I'm the shit
You always hated pop songs
And I always hated music snobs
You didn't think about the cost
Cause this? It's your loss!
Double A dick
Not my first pick
Couldn't get you off
Maybe it's your small-
My therapist said you're a liar and a player
You act all tortured but you're a betrayer
You said you're a devil, now I agree
Now no one's gonna like you, I guarantee
I'm not sad seeing pics
Just pissed I dated a dick
My friend told me I'm over it
You fumbled, I'm the shit
You always hated pop songs
And I always hated music snobs
You didn't think about the cost
Cause this? It's your loss!
blood runs cold
You had dreams about fucking me
Now I have dreams about you yelling at me
I'm tired of this grieving
It makes me start seething
But I want to be loved badly
And men keep fucking up sadly
I wish I didn't care
Hurt me? Don't you dare
My blood runs cold
Cause this is getting old
Empathy is getting hard
Cause every guy I meet has theirs behind bars
You had dreams about fucking me
Now I have dreams about you yelling at me
I lost counterfeit treasure
It gives me no pleasure
To say you were the love of my life
I thought with you I'd spend my time
For years and years at least
But you gave me the least
My blood runs cold
Cause this is getting old
Empathy is getting hard
Cause every guy I meet has theirs behind bars
To find a guy who's hot and kind
Is rare to find, they just lie and whine
Until it dies, and you have to find
Another guy to fill the void in your life
My blood runs cold
Cause this is getting old
Empathy is getting hard
Cause every guy I meet has theirs behind bars
MAKEOUT
Dear, the last jerk I dated
Loving you was overrated
Why it ended, I hope you know
XOXO, you had to go
I want some lips on mine
It's been a long long time
I want someone to touch me!
And no, not just sexually
I'm not desperate, just got a craving
I just want a guy not prone to caving
My heart beats rapid
Thinking bout O's and X's
A kiss is never vapid
Baby give me that nexus
X like a kiss, not the one you miss
O like a hug, not the hole he dug
M-A-K-E-O-U-T
Get over here and make out with me!
I'm craving a guy taller than me
To hide me in his arms, make me giggly
I don't give a fuck about my exes now
Got taste for a new boy, take me down
I've got a predilection for being loved
And for that predicament I shouldn't be judged
I know when I'm complimented, I just scoff
But let me come over, babe, and get you off
I'm not desperate, just got a craving
I just want a guy not prone to caving
My heart beats rapid
Thinking bout O's and X's
A kiss is never vapid
Baby give me that nexus
X like a kiss, not the one you miss
O like a hug, not the hole he dug
M-A-K-E-O-U-T
Get over here and make out with me!
My heart beats rapid
Thinking bout O's and X's
A kiss is never vapid
Baby give me that nexus
X like a kiss, not the one you miss
O like a hug, not the hole he dug
M-A-K-E-O-U-T
Get over here and make out with me!
M-A-K-E-O-U-T
Get over here and make out with me!
QUIT LYING
We're a candle in a storm
A buoy underwater
It's got me feeling worn
Embellishes the harbor
But we can't get there
Cause I'm out at sea
I don't trust anyone
To come save me
Quit lying
Bout how you're gonna love me forever
Cause it's just turning out to be never
Quit lying
Bout how you're gonna love me forever
And how you'll never leave
But you leave me in debris
I'm dying
Cause this shit lasts for never
Just give bad vibes from the start
Then you will not break my heart
It feels like every guy
Just uses me for sex
To get their fill of it
And leave me a mess
I'm tired
I'm tired
I'm tired
I'm tired of it
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
you used me like cocaine (and i let it happen)
I missed you to the furthest star and back
And you gave me three too many heart attacks
You were the salt of my earth
A wonderful curse
Told me I'm a diamond
Then broke me down to snow
You did me good then did me dirty
Then threw me out so slow
Fuck your antics, fuck your music
Fuck the way you made yourself intrinsic
To me
To me
They say fine art comes with a price
But I gave myself to you cause you were counterfeit"nice"
To me
To me
Told me I'm a diamond
Then broke me down to snow
You did me good then did me dirty
Then threw me out so slow
If you're a drug I'm having withdrawals
I'm a kid separated from their dolls
If you're sugar I'm having a crash
Each day without you is like a lash
If you're sobriety I am wasted
My texts sounded copied and pasted
If you're the ocean I'm landlocked
If you were behind a door, I wish I never knocked
Told me I'm a diamond
Then broke me down to snow
You did me good then did me dirty
Then threw me out so slow
You used me like cocaine
And I let it happen to me
Now you're feeling pain
Now you'll never be free
death grip
You held my hand to your chest in the car
Now I'm crying in the grocery store parking lot
My head in your lap
Talking about the people who hurt me
Now you're one of them sadly
Take the pain of knowing
We could've worked out great
Take the pain of working
To fix our titanic's fate
Take the memories from me
I'm trapped beneath the cold debris
My death grip
Our sinking ship
Us cuddling and watching movies
The night of my birthday
You self fulfilling prophecy of a boy
Never said what I needed you to say
You'd swallow me every night
Said you like to
You then left me with nothing
What could I do?
Take the pain of knowing
We could've worked out great
Take the pain of working
To fix our titanic's fate
Take the memories from me
I'm trapped beneath the cold debris
My death grip
Our sinking ship
I still place my right hand on my left cheek
Imagining my hand is yours
I still roll over in my bed alone to see
Your ghost looking back reassured
But loving you isn't loving me (Drowning, drowning)
You tortured me so easily (In my dreams you're shouting)
Turns out you were my tattoo (Drowning, drowning)
That I hope can be removed (In my dreams you're shouting)
Take away the pain of knowing
We could've worked out great
Take away the pain of working
To fix our titanic's fate
Take the memories from me
I'm trapped beneath the cold debris
My death grip
Our sinking ship
(Drowning, drown-)
cursed
At the gloaming
I stayed outside home just roaming
At the campsite
Somebody convinced me life was alright
But the bottle
Haunts me from wherever I coddle
And the dull knife
In my mind and thoughts remains rife
What I thought was eudaemonic
Turned out to be demonic
But I begged and prayed
I'm not even of that faith
What I thought was forever
Turned out to be never
But I slammed the door
Karma came back and she wants more
Even though all my life
I try to do things right
I try to be a saint
But god said "no, no the fuck you ain't"
The doctor's diagnosis was the worst
They told me I just might be cursed
I guess I'm not unlucky
Middle class life and endless hobbies
But I'm losing the game
I'll end up a sad artist with no money to my name
What I thought was eudaemonic
Turned out to be demonic
But I begged and prayed
I'm not even of that faith
What I thought was forever
Turned out to be never
But I slammed the door
Karma came back and she wants more
Even though all my life
I try to do things right
I try to be a saint
But god said "no, no the fuck you ain't"
The doctor's diagnosis was the worst
They told me I just might be cursed
If there's a god
They must hate me
And so I clawed
At the cage to be free
Crying in the bathtub
Wishing for a true love
On the porch at 1am
Thinking to myself "goddamn"
They think I'm going to hell
I think I wanna scream and yell
I'm a self fulfilling prophecy
I used to wanna end me
What did it to me?
The hell town or the Vatican?
To whom do I plead?
God or Satan?
But what I thought was eudaemonic
Turned out to be demonic
But I begged and prayed
I'm not even of that faith
What I thought was forever
Turned out to be never
But I slammed the door
Karma came back and she wants more
Even though all my life
I try to do things right
I try to be a saint
But god said "no, no the fuck you ain't"
The doctor's diagnosis was the worst
They told me I just might be cursed
the moon
You're a constant for me
I'm confident you won't disappear
Like I know the moon will be
Showing up every night so clear
I feel so lucky to have you
Full, crescent, or a half moon
We could joke all damn night
And we're so in sync we never fight
Talking to you makes my day
I'll never go away
Talking to you makes my night
Lets me know it'll be alright
You are my best friend
You listen to my songs so often
I hope it's now till the end
You make my anxieties soften
I feel so lucky to have you
Full, crescent, or a half moon
We could joke all damn night
And we're so in sync we never fight
Talking to you makes my day
I'll never go away
Talking to you makes my night
Lets me know it'll be alright
You shine so bright
In the dark
Every single night
It travels far
I'm your number one fan
You're mine too
I don't need a dumb man
If I have you
I feel so lucky to have you
Full, crescent, or a half moon
We could joke all damn night
And we're so in sync we never fight
Talking to you makes my day
I'll never go away
Talking to you makes my night
Lets me know it'll be alright
(I don't miss you)
I don't miss you
I miss being loved
I don't miss you
I miss getting hugged
I don't miss you
I miss being happy
I don't miss you
I miss getting sappy
I don't miss you
I miss being missed
I don't miss you
I miss getting kissed
I don't miss you
I miss being held
I don't miss you
I miss doing well
I don't miss you anymore
But I hope you're doing well
I don't miss you anymore
Cause loving you was hell
